Saltine Crackers
by midsummerwriter
Summary: Emily Prentiss knew what it was the moment she began to feel uneasy. Don't know about the rating on this one. It's not M though for sure.
1. Chapter 1

_I have no idea where this came from, I just started writing and this is what came out. Before anyone tells me morning sickness isn't that bad, it can be. I did not exaggerate one little bit. Which is one of the reasons I'll never do it again. Anyway..._

Saltine Crackers

Emily Prentiss knew what it was the moment she began to feel uneasy. It hadn't been a problem earlier though, she just avoided eating a heavy lunch before heading out into the field. Now as she stood over the latest victim, smelling the latest victim the small amount of food she managed to consume was threatening to reappear. She swallowed the urge to vomit and succeeded three times until the wind changed and she directly inhaled the sweet putrid scent of rotting human flesh.

"Oh God!" She burst then rushed away, leaving an extremely confused Derek Morgan behind.

"Em?" He called after her but she didn't stop until she was far enough away to not contaminate the body dump site.

She heaved for what felt like an eternity. The violence in the heaves brought her to her knees. She panted and clutched her stomach and her face felt like it was going to explode. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she was determined not to actually cry. At least not until she was back in her hotel room.

"Jesus, Em. What's going on?' Derek asked as he came up behind her. She felt him kneel down next to her. She was so grateful for him as he handed over a bottle of cold water. She sipped it slowly and he waited patiently for her to answer.

"Something I ate." She answered, giving him a weak smile. She had no idea if he bought it but that was all she wanted to tell him. It was all she was going to tell him, at least for a long while.

He frowned, "You sure?" She nodded and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. Her stomach felt like it was fighting with what little water she managed to swallow. "I'll call Hotch. I think you should go to a hospital, in case it isn't just food poisoning." His tone suggested it wasn't up for a debate.

She nodded as she turned away, retching again into the grass.

She stayed on the ground until Derek told her Hotch was there to take her to the hospital. She had hoped that Rossi could be the one to get her, and then she wouldn't have to look weak in front of her Unit Chief.

The two men helped her into the SUV, Derek found a paper bag and placed it in her lap as he buckled her seatbelt. She smiled at him, loving him for the surrogate brother he was acting like. She kept her head down as Hotch got into the drivers' seat. She waited until Derek closed the door and they started to drive away before turning towards Hotch. "I don't need to go to the hospital…" She started.

Hotch reached behind her seat, his sunglassed eyes still forward. "I know." He placed a plastic grocery bag on her lap. She frowned at him then looked into the bag. Her eyebrows shot up when she saw the saltine crackers and 150 ml bottle of Pepsi.

Her head turned quickly to him, but he was paying attention to the road. "I can't drink Pepsi, the caffeine." She replied not bothering to pretend he got her secret wrong.

"It has the electrolytes you need. The caffeine is minimal. It was one of the only things Haley drink that helped keep food down, when she was pregnant with Jack." He took his sunglasses off as he pulled the vehicle over onto the side of the road and he looked at her. He looked worried, and it made her want to cry. "How far along are you?"

She lowered her eyes, feeling ashamed, she was more worried now about what he was going to think of her then she was when she was pregnant at fifteen. "This is the beginning of the seventh week."

"Who?" He asked. She didn't point out that it was none of his business because he sounded truly concerned.

"It was a guy I was sort of dating for a few months. The condom broke, I was taking antibiotics so I went to the clinic after to get the morning after pill, but it only stops ovulation. If fertilization already took place there was nothing the pill could do." She sighed, picking at the crackers box with her thumb nail. She felt an urge to defend the guy, it had been her idea to cut it off, before he decided to end it. She found out about the pregnancy a few days later. She wanted to look at Hotch but she didn't think she could handle seeing disappointment on his face right now.

He didn't say anything, he just put the SUV into drive and pulled back out onto the road. They sat quietly for a long while, he put his sunglasses back on then turned his head towards her. "Eat the crackers, they'll make your stomach feel better."

She nodded and did as told. She sipped the Pepsi when the crackers were too dry and when the tears that fell without her permission made her mouth even drier. After just one cracker she was feeling better. She managed to get down a quarter sleeve of crackers by the time they reached the hotel. She packed everything back up before getting out of the vehicle.

Hotch held open the door of the lobby for her. She gave him a tight smile but kept her face away from him for the most part. He walked her up to her room. She was glad she didn't have to share with anyone since Garcia hadn't accompanied them on this case and male and female agents weren't allowed to share rooms.

She opened her door and stepped inside, Hotch stayed at the door frame. She held up the bag. "Thanks." She said lamely, feeling awkward.

She chanced a glanced at him but she couldn't read his face as he stood in the doorway. She didn't know what to think of him not leaving. She was beginning to think he was planning on sending her home. "Do you know what you're going to do?" He asked finally breaking the silence.

Emily sagged in relief but hid it by setting the bag on the floor next to the bed. "I want to keep it, the baby…" she let her voice drop, she was about to say 'this time' but she realized only Rossi knew and she hadn't told anyone else. At the time, when she told Rossi, she felt relieved having someone else know besides Mathew. It was the only secret she had. Except now she had this secret but this one was going to impossible to keep to herself.

Tears welled up and spilled down her face before she even knew she was crying. Hotch crossed the room in two long strides and lightly placed a comforting hand on her upper arm. Not knowing what came over her she threw her arms around him tightly. He was rigid in her arms but then soften quickly. She clutched at him like she was dying and he was the only thing that could save her. "It's alright. It's scary, I know." He said as his warm hand rubbed her back. He held her close until her sobs subsided and he let her go when she pulled back.

"Sorry." She sniffed, wiping the tear tracks away. She noticed she'd gotten mascara on his white dress shirt collar. She was about to tell him when her throat convulsed, she clamped her mouth shut and rushed to the bathroom.

Her stomach muscles hadn't had the chance to recover from the first bout of retching and she felt like she'd done a thousand stomach crunches and was being forced to do another. She tried to hold onto the toilet seat but her knees were weak and her arms didn't have the strength.

The floor tiles felt blessedly cool against the over heated skin of her face. She retched again but nothing came up and sobbed in pain. She was only vaguely aware that Hotch had followed her into the bathroom. She couldn't find the will to care that he could see her right now. She wanted to die, not from embarrassment but so the dry heaves would stop.

She wished he would go so she could die in private but he proved he wasn't going anywhere as he moved around the bathroom, flushing the toilet, wetting two washcloths, one he placed on her forehead, the other he used to clean her face off with. He disappeared for a moment, and then returned with the comforter off the bed. He draped it over her as she realized she was shivering from the cold. She wanted to get off the floor but her body wouldn't move. She wondered how he knew. She wondered if there was something seriously wrong with her, if she was actually dying because the first time she was pregnant it was nothing like this. She hadn't even felt the slightest bit nauseous. "Do I need to go to the hospital?" She asked, her throat was sore and her voice was rough like she swallowed 120 grit sandpaper.

Hotch sat on the floor beside her with his back resting on the side of the tub. He gave her a tight lip smile, but his eyes told her he was concerned not worried. "Haley was sick like this too. When you're strong enough I'll take you to a clinic and get you something for the nausea."

"I thought only crackers and ginger ale was the cure." She closed her eyes as the thought of food made her stomach protest. Tears welled up fresh, dreading another round of retching.

"No, they have medication now. It's perfectly safe for the baby." He reached forward and flipped the washcloth over so it was cold again. She smiled weakly at him as the cold stilled her gag reflex.

"I've never heard it could be like this. I was expecting morning sickness but this is ridiculous." She snuggled into the blankets, she wanted to get off the floor but she still couldn't move.

"If they told you it could be this bad do you think any woman would want to get pregnant?" He asked, a shadow of a dimple appearing on his cheek.

She chuckled but it made her abs flex and the pain made her stop. She closed her eyes and groaned. Once the pain was gone she felt exhausted but she really didn't want to sleep on the bathroom floor. She tried to get up again, her arms were shaky but she got them under her. Hotch moved and she thought he was going to insist she lay back down but his hands went under her arms and helped her to stand.

He got her to the bed and helped her get comfortable. He took her shoes off, placing them neatly next to the door and covered her up with the blanket. He re-wetted the washcloth and handed it back then went and grabbed her go-bag. "Do you have anything more comfortable in here?" He asked, his jaw flexing signaling his discomfort with having asked a personal question.

She shook her head. It was all business clothes, a silk nightgown and underwear. She owned a few pairs of jeans and casual shirts but she always brought her work clothes when they went away. "No, just work clothes." She didn't elaborate. He probably did the same thing and left the jeans at home.

"I'll be right back." He said, nodding. He placed the bag on the floor and went for the door. He paused with his hand on the door knob. "I'm going to call Derek and Rossi, to let them know you're ok. Rest, I'll be right back." He closed the door behind him and she continued to stare at it until she couldn't see it anymore as her brain went over how caring and sweet her boss had just been with her. She wasn't worried that he would tell them what really was wrong with her, she trusted that he would keep her secret. She wondered what he was going to tell them and hoped he told her before the rest of the team could ask so they could get their story straight.

Emily hadn't realized she's fallen asleep until Hotch closed the door. He had obviously tried to be as quiet as possible and frowned when he looked over and she was watching him. He had his go-bag in his hand and another grocery bag. "How do you feel?" He asked setting his bag next to hers and sitting on the bed near her knees. She watched as he took out a bottle of ginger ale and a plastic cup.

She swallowed, her throat hurt but she was thirsty. "So far so good." She accepted the cup and sipped it slowly even though she wanted to drain it in one gulp.

"Good." He went for his go-bag and unzipped it. She tried not to look inside despite her curiosity of what she might see. He searched around then took out a t-shirt and fleece pajama bottoms. She didn't want to jump to conclusions but it was looking like he planned on staying in her room. "Here, these will be more comfortable than work clothes." She accepted them awkwardly, feeling foolish at her initial response.

"Are you sure, what are you…"

"I don't…" he interrupted then stopped, his face flushing slightly. She guessed what he was going to say and just smiled and nodded gratefully.

She sat up slowly, testing to see if she could stand without needing to vomit. When she was standing she felt triumphant but cautious. She made it to the bathroom and closed the door behind her but didn't lock the door just incase. Once changed into Hotch's baggy FBI t-shirt and warm fleece pants she looked at herself in the mirror. She suddenly wished she hadn't. Her eyes were blood shot and there were little red dots around her eyes and neck. She leaned in closer to get a better look. Little blood vessel in her face had ruptured from she guessed the force of her vomiting. It looked like she'd been strangled. Honestly at the time she was throwing up she sort of felt like she was being strangled.

She decided not to worry about Hotch seeing her like that, since he had already she came out of the bathroom intent on going back to bed.

Hotch was still there, sitting on the bed. He looked at her long enough to see she was ok but looked away quickly and she felt ashamed again. She wanted to ask what he thought about her but dreaded the answer. Of course he was disappointed that she would get into this kind of situation and mess up things for the team. The last thing they needed was one less team member.

Self-conscious, she fidgeted with his shirt as she sat gingerly on the end of the bed adjacent from him. "What did you tell them?" She asked tucking her right foot up under her left thigh.

"I told them the doctor said it was a mild allergic reaction to something you ate, that you would be fine in a day or two. Derek said you told him as much before he called me to pick you up."

"Ok, just so we have our story straight." She looked at her cup and smiled when Hotch handed it to her, intuitively knowing what she wanted. She couldn't believe that Haley had divorced him. Aside from a slight chauvinistic steak, he was everything a woman was looking for in a partner. Well everything she was looking for in a partner. It was just a shame he was her boss and not at all interested in her romantically. What was also a shame, as she sipped her drink, she was beginning to fall further for him and she was pregnant with another man's baby.

"You should try to get some more sleep. We'll have to wait to get the prescription and fill it until tomorrow because nothing is open this late in this town." He sounded truly irritated, she glanced at the clock that blinked six p.m., and right fully so.

"What about the case? Where are we on that?" She asked finishing the ginger ale and longing for more.

Hotch shook his head and went for the bottle. "No, you are not going to worry about that right now. Reid, Derek and Rossi can handle it for the moment."

"But..." She started to protest.

"No, I'm not arguing about it, Agent Prentiss." he filled her cup and handed her the open sleeve of crackers. He was taking the 'Boss' tone with her and it seemed strange considering the circumstances. She huffed, knowing she could at least help with the profiling. "Now, lie down and get some rest. I'll be back in the morning." He set the bottle of ginger ale on the nightstand and helped tuck her in as if she were a sick child. While normally she would have been irritated by the fussing, which was why she hated hospitals, she relished in his care. It was a side of him she never thought she would ever see.

He hovered for a second as he pulled the blanket up to her shoulder. She thought for a brief moment he was going to kiss her on the forehead until he straightened up and grabbed his go-bag. "I'll see you in the morning." He said then left quickly.

She didn't have much time to dwell on his actions before the exhaustion took her under and she was fast asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The very early morning sunlight came in through the open curtains. She wondered why she hadn't closed them the night before as she always did but then her memory of what happened the day before came back. And so did the nausea.

She made it to the toilet just on time. She clutched at the toilet with one arm while the other went to her extremely sore stomach muscles. Once she was blissfully finished she sat back, resting against the tub and shivered from the cold. She wondered when Hotch would get there so she could go get some pills to stop this and she could get back to work like normal. And then her abs could get a break.

She tried to get down some ginger ale and crackers but they seemed to have lost their magical properties. She went for the Pepsi instead and was grateful for the reprieve.

Her body felt shaky and weak. She wondered if she would be able to do this pregnancy thing if the medication didn't work. Oh god, how she hoped the medication would work.

If she hadn't been waiting for it she would have missed the knock on her door. She rushed to it despite the surge of vertigo the quick movement sent through her body. She wanted to kiss him when she opened the door but knew it would be unwelcome even if only given in gratitude. She stepped back, letting him in. His eyes scanned her body making her feel self-conscious, she would have changed but she didn't feel like it. There was nothing in her bag that would offer the comfort of Hotch scented clothes. "I wasn't sure when you were going to get here."

"That's fine." He replied, and then shrugged. "Haley lived in my clothes for the first three months." He winced like he let something slip that he hadn't meant to and Emily felt her stomach drop. She could wind up with three solid months of this horrible nausea? "Are you ready?" He asked looking apologetic.

She grabbed her purse and her coat. Hotch grabbed the crackers and Pepsi.

It was hours later when they got back to the hotel. The doctor told her she could take up to four pills a day, morning, noon and two before bed. She took one as soon as she got them and was anxiously waiting for it to kick in as Hotch closed the door behind them. "It could be tomorrow before you feel like eating anything real." He explained from experience.

Emily nodded, slightly disappointed but still hopeful. "What did you tell the team about you being gone all morning?" She sat down on the bed. She blinked as her eyes became heavy. The pregnancy was making her tired but she had been handling it just fine, but after the day before and last night her body was exhausted.

"You had a follow up this morning that I said I would drive you to." He took her purse and set it on the table beside the door and helped her out of her coat. "No one questioned it, but I think Garcia might be calling you. I told her to wait until after seven, that should give you enough time to get some sleep." she let him lower her down on the bed and cover her with the blankets.

She closed her eyes, not having the strength to keep them open anymore. "You are not nearly as heartless as you pretend to be."

"No, Emily, I'm not." She was mostly awake when she heard his words but she wasn't sure if she had imagined them anyway.

Her cell phone rang, waking her out of an extremely vivid dream that was slipping away but leaving her with a pleasant feeling. "Hello?" She said into the phone with out opening her eyes.

"Oh, Em how are you doing?" Garcia asked concern thick in her enthusiasm.

Emily snuggled down into her bed, and in Hotch's shirt. "I'm feeling a lot better. The doctor said it would pass." Which was the truth, the doctor had said it would pass. He was talking about nausea though not the allergic reaction everyone thought she's had.

"Oh that's good! Is anyone taking care of you? Tell me my dark chocolate Adonis has been checking up on you?"

Emily smiled picturing Hotch tucking her in, and wondered if anyone would believe her if she did tell them just how much care he was taking of her. "Actually Hotch's been checking up on me." She let her voice down play it, not wanting to make it sound like a big deal. It wasn't, for him anyway.

"Oh." The tech sounded surprised. "But he's taking good care of you though, right?"

"He's fine. You know I don't like people to make much of a fuss." She glanced around for something to drink and noticed there was a new bottle of Pepsi on the night stand which meant that he'd been in her room while she was sleeping. The knowledge that he'd done that made something in her heart throb. He probably had no idea what his actions were doing. She suddenly wanted to cry again.

"Are you coming home soon?" Garcia asked bringing her back to the conversation.

"I will be finishing up the case with the team." She sat up, waited for the nausea but it didn't come. Still weary she slowly stood. It still didn't come but she could feel a sort of dull unease in her stomach that suggested just not eating would be ok. "I'm almost totally recovered."

"Fine but I want to see you as soon as you get back so I can give you a hug. Derek made it sound like you were dying." Emily could tell how much Garcia meant it since she only used her chocolate Adonis's real name when she was being serious.

"I'm fine, Pen. Derek's a baby. I'll see you as soon as I get off the plane." She smiled because she knew it would be heard over the phone. She also didn't want there to be any doubt about her wellbeing, since Derek's worry hadn't been totally unfounded.

"Love you my Raven Vision." Garcia replied and hung up.

Not wanting to get out of Hotch's warm and comfortable clothes, she knew she had to since she had wasted enough time held up in bed. There was a killer out there that needed to be caught and she wasn't going to let him get away because of a little vomit. Ok well, a lot of vomit and dry heaves.

Emily caught up with the team at the local Sheriff's office, they had finished the profile just before she walked in. There was a rush of excitement as the officers began to split up in mini teams to ride to the Unsub's location. Her team was standing in the middle of it and they all smiled when she took her place in their circle.

Even though she had taken a shower, gotten dressed and put on some make-up she still felt like they could see what she looked like before. She didn't have consealer, so the tiny red spots were still out there for them to see and she knew they would see them. She just hoped they wouldn't comment on it.

"How are you feeling, Em?" Derek asked, touching her elbow as if worried she might break. The others, excluding Hotch eyed her intently as they waited for her to answer and hopefully elaborate.

"Much better. Just needed to sleep it off, I guess."

"It must have been pretty bad, I can see what looks like petechial hemorrhaging around your eyes…" Reid started but Rossi sent him an elbow in the ribs. "Ow!" And he got the hint.

"Come on, people. We're heading out." Hotch directed and Emily fell into step with the group, following Derek to the door but Hotch's hand on her arm stopped her. "You're staying here." He said quietly so only she would hear it but she still looked around to make sure no one had.

"It was only _food poisoning_, I'm fine now to do my job." She replied as Derek glanced back, wondering why she wasn't following him anymore. The dark skinned man gave Hotch a questioning expression which she knew Hotch couldn't answer without breaking his word he wouldn't tell them the truth.

He flexed his jaw, his amber eyes looking pointedly at her. He was clearly not happy about her manipulating him. "Fine. If you're sure."

"I'm sure." She answered, but she didn't feel the triumph of winning the battle of wills. She ignored it and caught up with the team and they all drove to the Unsub's location.

Their guy was out in the woods, behind a farm house that looked run down and unoccupied. They all knew what they were doing as they stopped their cars and got out.

The Kevlar vest felt snug but Emily knew it was all in her mind since it was too early for her to be gaining any substantial weight. Her gun felt heavier in her hands too as she followed Derek into the back forty yards behind the Unsub's farm house.

They knew from the profile that the Unsub had a small lodge or cabin back on his property to pull off the kinds of deviant behavior he explored. The Sheriff told them who they were going after and about where his torture chamber would be. No one had been surprised about who the Unsub wound up being. Like most cases it was more a puzzle piece falling into place for the LEO's.

As the hunting party moved deeper into the wooded area Emily saw the setting sun glint of a window and pointed it out to the others before heading in that direction. Hotch caught up with her in seconds and she knew he hadn't done it just because he wanted to get there as fast as possible but so he could protect her if the 'shit hit the fan'.

"Kenny Cavanaugh? FBI, come out with your hands up!" She yelled holding her gun at the ready. She didn't move forward, Hotch was abreast to her. They waited for a sign from inside, and for the rest of the hunting party to catch up. "We're coming in." Hotch yelled and started forward as soon as the Sheriff and his deputy reached them.

She knew he wouldn't say anything now in front of everyone but she stayed just behind and to the side of him as she followed him. She could almost see inside the window and she caught a movement inside but before she could yell a bullet shattered the glass and Hotch was on top of her, cradling her head, on the ground while Derek, Rossi and the Sheriff all opened fire.

Emily closed her eyes until the fire fight was over and Hotch pulled her up off the ground. He looked furious and like he wanted to yell at her. He worked his jaw trying to keep his mouth closed. She wanted to assure him she was alright that he didn't need to worry but there was a strange feeling in her abdomen.

She knew what the feeling was, she knew it was cramps. She knew she wasn't supposed to be having cramps. And she knew they shouldn't be getting worse. "Hotch, I…" she started, she felt her face go white as the pain intensified.

His eyes went to her stomach then he reached out to the bottom of her vest. She knew he shouldn't have done that, that if anyone saw it they would know but she didn't care. "There's something wrong." She said simply.

Hotch look around until he saw Rossi, and the older man gave him a head nod in understanding. Emily figured Rossi would have seen the exchange between herself and Hotch, the man watched her like a hawk. He watched the whole team like a hawk.

In the car the pain plateaued to a bad period's cramps. It wasn't terrible but it wasn't anywhere near comfortable without extra strength Midol. She knew she was miscarrying because it didn't feel very much different then when she'd had the abortion. And that was a pain she would never forget.

There was blood on the seat when he helped her out at the hospital. She would have been embarrassed if the sight didn't wrench her heart painfully.

"It was nothing you did. There was nothing that you could have done that would have prevented this from happening. I'm sorry for your loss." The Doctor said, while he looked apologetic Emily could only hear the robotic tone he used like he'd said the same words many times before. She didn't bother asking if he was sure. She knew he'd say he was. After a long moment of silence the doctor excused himself leaving Emily alone with Hotch.

She waited on the examination table, in clean clothes from her go-bag, for Hotch to start yelling. She didn't care if he did, her heart was breaking painfully. She heard a strange noise and realized she was sobbing. She felt his arms go around her and pull her into a tight embrace. She cried into his shoulder for the second time in as many days. He was the only to pull away first this time.

His hand cupped her face so she would look at him. "I'm so sorry, Emily." His eyes held a sorrow she only remembered seeing when Haley had been murdered. She didn't even care that he'd said her first name. She just wanted to go home, back to Virginia.

"I'd like to go now." She turned her face away and slid off the table. The instructions were the same, get some rest, not to take a bath to avoid getting an infection for one to two weeks, or have sex and she shouldn't expect to conceive again for at least three months. Not that she planed on the second last one any time soon, or ever for the last one. She hated that she'd gotten pregnant without a committed relationship she loved that she had gotten another chance at being the mother she couldn't have been at fifteen. But that chance was gone, and barring another broken condom with a stranger she wasn't going to get pregnant ever again.

Hotch nodded. He placed a hand on her lower back and led them out of the building to the car. He was silent the whole drive back and she was grateful. She didn't want to talk about it and she didn't have the energy to keep up small talk.

Rossi was waiting in the lobby when they entered the hotel. "They want to know what happened." He said not bothering with any preamble. "I didn't tell them anything, but they are speculating. And they're very worried." He reached out and squeezed her arm.

"Thanks Dave." She didn't say more. She didn't have anything else to say. He nodded as if he understood.

"Tell Morgan and Reid to get ready. You'll be flying out in twenty." Hotch directed then started to walk away but Rossi stopped him.

"What about you and Emily?" He asked. He looked at her for the answer but she couldn't say it.

"Emily can't fly so soon after, and someone needs to drive her. It's a twenty-four hour drive, we'll have to stop for the night so we'll see you tomorrow."

"It's a nice drive." Rossi offered to Emily. She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

Back in her room she looked at the small prescription bottle next to the ginger ale and crackers. It all seemed like years ago that they were helping her but now it seemed like they were mocking her. She rubbed her eyes and face, wanting to get this crap under control. She wasn't dying, she just wasn't meant to be a mother. Maybe she would adopt when her job was a little less hectic?

Hotch was right behind her. He'd seen her looking at the night stand, went over with a wastepaper basket and pushed it all into it without ceremony. If she hadn't known better he was acting like it had been his child she'd lost. And he was acting like it hurt him too.

And that made her love him just a little bit more.

She packed up her things not wanting to stay in the room any longer than she already had. She stopped when she reached for Hotch's t-shirt and fleece pants. She held them in her hands, feeling a comfort just touching them and dreaded giving them back. She figured it'd be too much for her to impose, consider what he had already done and was going to so, that she ask to keep them. "Um, here, they need to be washed still." She held them out for him to take.

He stepped forward and she thought he was going to take them but he pushed them to her chest. "You can give them back when you want."

"Why are you being so fucking amazing?" She asked before she could control herself. He looked surprised by the outburst but a shadow of a dimple appeared on his face.

"It's because I'm not nearly as heartless as I pretend to be." And she loved him just a little bit more.

"No, you're not." She agreed. She finished packing, putting his clothes in her bag with every intention of wearing them that night and every night until they wore out.

She was ready to go in less than five minutes. She waited for Hotch to grab his go-bag and they met up with the others in the lobby. The guys looked at her with concerned expressions which she just smiled in return. Derek came up and hugged her unexpectedly. "See you when you get back." He silently let her know she could talk to him about anything and she nodded telling him she knew.

Reid smiled awkwardly, she expected he had a dozen factoids in his brain at the moment but was unsure as to whether she wanted to hear them or not. She shook her head and hugged him tightly.

She gave Rossi a light peck on the cheek then wiped off the lipstick. "Sorry." He grinned and raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not."

"Ok, that's enough good byes." Hotch cut in. "It's only one day. See you tomorrow." He put on his sunglasses and picked up both his bag and Emily's.

She guessed they didn't ask why Hotch was the one that was driving her back because they just figured he was taking care of her because she had taken care of him after Foyet. She figured that was the reason too. That and because he had a chauvinistic streak that made him a knight in white Kevlar when it came to all women.


	3. Chapter 3

I promised I'd get the end out so here it is. I get that this isn't an M rated fic and I know people are reading it, push that button at the bottom, tell me how much you love Hotch, or Rossi or Derek, yeah Reid too. And how much do you miss JJ? I know I do. Or if you don't want to tell me your favourite colour..or comment on my Canadian spellings...This is the end of the story but not the end for commenting. Reviews make the world go round..and kisses. Send kisses...yeah I'm begging. It's shamful I know.

The motel they stopped at only had two rooms left and they had adjoining doors. The owner told them the locks were broken, he gave Emily a pointed look as if she was fare warned and if anything were to happen to her it was no longer his fault. But he assured them that the doors to the outside worked perfectly.

Hotch paid and glared at the weasel. They both wondered how many women had been victimized because of the broken locks. Emily accepted her key without any worry on her part. She would never expect to have to worry about her boss coming into her room at night to take advantage of her. And she wanted to keep her job so she wouldn't be utilizing the broken locks either.

He waited until she was inside her room before opening his door. Broken locks were an understatement. The door on her side didn't even close as it was only being held up by the bottom hinge. She checked the front door to make sure the locks on there worked and was relieved that they did. She'd still sleep with her gun under her pillow.

"Prentiss?" Hotch called through the adjoining door.

"Yeah, come on in." She called back watching as he opened his door to see hers' wide open. "It won't stay shut."

"We can go somewhere else, if you want. It didn't look like such a dive from out front." His face was set in a frown.

She shook her head. "No, it's fine. I trust you won't come tip-toeing to my bed in the middle of the night." She hadn't meant to say it out loud and from the frown on his face she expected to get reprimanded for it.

"No." He said clearing his throat loudly.

"It's late. I'm going to get some rest." She said to alleviate the tension. He nodded and back into his own room. He tried to shut his door but it got caught on the old worn carpet. He swore under his breath and tugged hard but it wasn't going anywhere now. She wanted to tell him it was ok, but she was worried she'd say something even more ridiculous than she had already.

She grabbed her bag and went into her bathroom to get changed. By the time she came out he had given up on the door and was, she figured, in the bathroom of his room getting ready for the night.

She almost laughed out loud when she saw that there was a completely uninterrupted view of his bed from hers. To avoid more awkwardness she got into bed turned off the light, lied down on her side and pulled the blankets up so she couldn't see into his room.

A few minutes later she heard his door open and his feet on the ground. She heard his pause when he noticed the same thing she had, then she heard his bed creak under his weight as he got in. Her room went completely dark when he turned off his light.

Emily woke when the pain killers wore off. The cramping wasn't terrible but it was strong enough to wake her from a dead sleep. She winced when she thought about turning on the lights so she could find and see her pills to take them. Turning on her back she tried to ignore the pain and go back to sleep. After the pain turned into a dull ache she tired her side again.

She sighed and rolled over again. She was about to gab her bag and hide in the bathroom when the small lamp came on in Hotch's room. She sat up and saw him walking towards her.

She looked away as soon as she noticed he was only in boxer shorts. But there was no way she could erase the image of him from her mind now. He was more toned than she expected and there were little white pearl scars on his otherwise prefect chest. She wondered if they would feel smooth under her fingertips.

He stopped at the door, his shadow blocking out part of the light from his room. "Is everything ok?" He asked and yawned. His hair was sticking up in all different directions making him look ten years younger.

"Yeah, sorry. The pain meds just wore off." She explained and was about to get up for her bag but he was faster. He set it on the bed next to her then disappeared into his room only to come back with a bottle of water. He took the cap off and handed it over to her then sat down on the edge of her bed. He eyed her cautiously.

"Do you need to see someone?" He asked as she tipped back two pills and washed it down with the water.

"No, it'll be fine once the meds kick in." She answered truthfully.

"Is there anything I can do?" He reached over and tucked her hair behind her ear and cupped her face in his hand. She closed her eyes let her head tilt into his hand. She wanted to know what was going on in his head as his thumb brushed her cheek. Not wanting to read anything into it she turned away and hated herself when he dropped his hand back to the bed. "You feel warm, are you sure you're alright?" He asked his eyes imploring.

She nodded her head. "I'm fine."

"You sure it's not a fever? If it's a fever it could be an infection."

"I'm not feverish. I'm fine. Please, just go back to bed." She glanced up at him when she realized she was being rude and was surprised to see he looked hurt and lost. She looked away convinced she's imagined it. It was only a trick of the low light.

"Look, I'm bad at this, this sick woman thing. I…" He started, he pushed a hand through his hair making it stick up even more.

"I'm not asking for your help!" She said a little more forcefully than necessary but she didn't want him to feel obligated anymore if he really didn't want to be helping her. She should have known it was all just pity, he was her boss and nothing more. He probably just thought this was the time for payback for her helping him out before. God, she felt stupid.

"But I want to give it!" His voice was loud, cutting through her inner tirade of self loathing and deprecation. She met his eyes when his hand grabbed her arm. "I want to help so bad, I just don't know what to do and you aren't helping by telling me you're fine." She had no idea what to say to that. "I want to take the pain away." He said quietly, his tone a little dejected and flat. She frowned at him. He got up, his body tense as he stood next to her bed. His face contorted from his inner battle. "God, you are so hard to get through to." He sighed. "And I'm having a hard enough time trying to get it out."

"Get what out?" She tilted her head, searching.

"It's why I've been doing all of this." He started, his hand gesturing at the space between them. "Even though I know it could cost us our careers." Now she was really lost but she kept her mouth shut so he would continue. "I've never been good at this, which is one of the reasons why Haley divorced me." He paced a few times. He looked like he was in the middle of an especially difficult interrogation. He stopped suddenly and sat on the bed next to her, closer than he was before. A lot closer than he had been. He looked into her eyes and she had no doubt what he was trying to say to her.

This wasn't a romance novel or a romantic comedy where the lead man blurted out his feelings, his hopes for them and his unconditional love. This was her stoic Unit Chief, a real man trying to convey all those things but not having the words because civilization dictated men shouldn't express their feelings. And she realized the last two days he had been confessing to her but she misunderstood every action as a sense of responsibility. It warmed her heart and she loved him just a little bit more. Her fingers itch to touch him and she couldn't control her hand as it reached out to curl around his. His free hand came up and tucked her hair behind her ear again. "Has the pain subsided yet?"

Emily nodded. "Yes. It isn't that bad anyway." She lowered her head, biting her lip. "It's just, I had just gotten used to the idea of being pregnant. I figured this was my second chance and I wasn't going to give it up." She saw Hotch frown, he opened his mouth but she cut him off. "I was fifteen. I couldn't do it then, but this time I knew I had to. If I didn't I would never get another chance." He nodded his understanding but said nothing. "The job restricts us. To find someone that understands what the job means to us and what it takes to do it, like JJ did, is rare. I wanted it so bad and the pain just reminds me of what I lost." She yawned suddenly, the pain medication making her sleepy. "Excuse me." She mumbled.

He started to shift and she though he was going to go back to his room but he nudged her to move over and carefully directed her to face away from him so he could curl his body up behind her. She placed her head on his bicep and closed her eyes as he rubbed her back. She was asleep in seconds.

When she woke up the next morning Hotch was gently shaking her shoulder. She looked at him then at the clock. It was still very early but she was glad, if they left soon they would be back at Quantico by noon. He was dressed too when she sat up and stretched. She sort of wished he wouldn't have been so she could have gotten a good look at him in the day light. Oh well, there was a really good chance once she was healed up and back to normal she would get to see him in even less.

She dressed in the bathroom and when she came out he was on his cell all business explaining that they would be on the road shortly and back with hours. He mouthed Strauss at her and they both rolled their eyes.

As they walked down the court yard to the check out desk he turned to her. "Are you hungry, or are you still nauseous?"

"No, it stopped just after the..." she let the sentence drop. He gave a sharp nod letting her know she didn't have to continue.

"We'll stop at a Dunkin's if you like." He said as he held open the door to the office. She placed her room key on the desk for the weasel. He gave her a greasy smiled back.

Hotch leaned in and waited until the guy leaned in too before he spoke. "Get those doors fixed or I'll report you for renting rooms to minors." He flashed his badge and dropped his key on the counter.

They left before the guy could say anything.

By the time they reached the FBI building Emily just wanted to go home but she promised she'd go see Garcia and she had to wait for Hotch to finish his meeting with Strauss. They agreed to sick to the food poisoning story for the official report. What Strauss didn't know wouldn't kill her.

Garcia was actually vibrating as the elevator doors opened to let Emily and Hotch off. The now red head grabbed her arm and pulled her into her office. Garcia obviously thought she was being discrete by waiting until she closed the doors to throw her arms around Emily. "I don't appreciate being lied to."

"I'm sorry, Pen. I was planning on tell everyone at the end of the first trimester. You know in case…" Emily sighed. "In case what happened, happens." She sat in the second computer chair heavily. Garcia sat in her chair and rolled up so their knees were touching.

"Do you want me to come over, watch sappy movies and cry with?"

Emily leaned back, letting her head hang. "No, Pen, thanks. It's fine."

"But you shouldn't be alone..." Garcia began but Emily cut her off.

"I won't be. Hotch…" she tried to explain but it was Garcia's turn to interrupt.

"Hotch, huh?" A huge smile erupted on the Tech's face. "You said he was taking care of you. Is there more to that than the rest of us know?" Emily paused to think of how to explain but she took too long. "Oh has he confessed his unconditional love for you while holding you tenderly in his arms and looking into your dark chocolate eyes?"

Emily laughed. "No. Could you actually see Hotch ever doing that?"

"Yes, my Goddess, every time I picture the two of you alone out on a case. He is way too composed in the office not to be romantic and passionate in private." She was totally serious and it gave Emily the impression she did actually think about her and Hotch like that.

"Well anyway, no, there were no sappy confessions." She gave the Tech an indulgent smile.

"What about his kisses? He has the most sensual mouth, aside from my Derek's of course, he must know how to use it." Garcia was gripping her knees, her eyes searching Emily's. Emily blushed and Garcia got closer so their thighs were touching, if someone had come by they'd think the Tech was about to ride Emily's leg.

"I wouldn't know." Garcia flopped back into her chair rolling a few inches away.

"Oh please give me something to fantasize about while I'm cooped up in here only listening to your voices." She sat up straight and went to her computer and her hands began to dance across the keyboard. "There must be topless pics of him out there somewhere. He has to have at least one beach picture."

"I did see him in his boxers." Emily admitted quietly halting Garcia's hands. The redhead's mouth opened in a perfect O and she turned her chair to face her again waiting for Emily to say more. "I was tossing and turning in bed last night and I woke him up…"

"You were sharing a bed and you haven't kissed him?"

"No, we had separate rooms, but the doors that joined them were broken." Garcia gave her a disbelieving look. "It's true. Anyway, he came in to check on me and I saw him in his boxers."

Garcia grabbed her hands, their knees touching again. "And then what?"

"And nothing. I can't, I'm not supposed to…" Emily tried to explain but Garcia waved her hand as if clearing the negative away. She purposely left out the part where he had held her and rubbed her back until she fell asleep.

"But you wanted to, right?"

"Of course I …." Emily started.

"Wanted to what?" Hotch asked from the door way making both woman jump. Garcia blushed crimson and turned away so she was facing the monitors giving away the fact that they were just discussing him. Emily inwardly cursed at the Tech's inability to play aloof.

"Nothing, sir." She quickly changed to professional. "Is everything fine with Strauss?"

He kept his face neutral so she couldn't read anything from him. "Yes, she wants an informal report on her desk tomorrow." Emily opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off with a hand. "Don't worry about it, I'll do it so you can go home and get some more rest. Do you still need a ride home?" He looked at Garcia and back to her as if Garcia had offered and she accepted.

"Yes, I do." She got up out of her chair and gave Garcia a peck on the cheek, "See you tomorrow." The tech beamed at her.

"Tomorrow. Bye Hotch, sir." She said without looking at him.

"Good-bye Garcia."

Emily unlocked her apartment door and pushed it open. She paused before going in. the last time she was there she'd been pregnant and making plans on changing the spare room into a nursery. She still had a Baby's R Us catalogue on the kitchen counter that she could see from her place at the door. She went in but kept her face away from the smiling baby on the cover so Hotch could bring her bag in for her. He'd insisted caring it since the doctor said she couldn't carry anything over fifteen pounds even though she was sure it didn't weigh near that. She didn't argue since it was the only way she could think to get him to walk her to her door.

His eyes settled on the catalogue as he put her bag down. She reached out to move it but he grabbed it first and tossed it into her garbage under the sink. "Ugly baby anyway." He didn't smile but she knew he was just trying to make her feel better. It sort of worked. He stood somewhat awkwardly beside her kitchen counter. "Is there anything else I can do for you before I go? Are you hungry?" She shook her head. "You sure?" She nodded wondering what she could do to get back to the closeness they had last night.

He started to leave but she reached out and grabbed his hand stopping him. "Hotch."

"Please call me Aaron."

"Aaron." His name sounded different when she said it this time. She'd called him by his name before but it was always in a professional capacity. It held some intimacy now. "I…" She wanted to ask him for something she didn't know how or where to start. She looked in his eyes and they seemed to be mirroring hers.

He leaned in his free hand came up to cup her face. She licked her lips as her eyes looked at his mouth. She closed her eyes just before his lips touched hers. They were harder than she expected but in a good way. She let his hand go so she could press both of hers against his solid chest. He brought his hand up to her lower back pulling her into his body. A fire ignited inside her and she moaned. Her mouth opening against his and his tongue slipped past her lips making the fire burn higher. The hand that cupped her face slid into her hair holding her still. His body was hard against hers and she wanted to explode.

The tech had been right about his passion having to go somewhere, she found it and was looking forward to finding where the rest of it was. Once she was healed up in about one to two weeks. She pushed against him, breaking the kiss. His eyes were unfocused as he frowned at her. "I- We can't go any further." His hands and body froze. He backed up and she immediately missed his warmth.

"You're right, I'm sorry." He straightened his tie and suit jacket. If he hadn't been wearing her lipstick there would be no outward sign that they'd been locked in a passionate embrace.

"So am I." she bit her lip and used her thumb to clean his mouth. His eyes narrowed in on hers and his expression darkened. She wanted to kiss him again so badly but she knew where it was heading and they couldn't go there. "Two weeks. We can continue this discussion again in two weeks."

He smiled and both of his dimples came out. "I can't wait."

_~Seven months later~ _

Emily glanced at the white board where the victims' pictures stared back at her. She felt uneasiness in her stomach and knew exactly what it was. She lightly touched Hotch's arm before quickly leaving the team to go to the police stations washroom. She took a deep breath and lost the contents of her stomach.

Hands pulled her hair back in a make-do pony tail and held it there until she straightened up. "As soon as you're ok we'll go to a doctor and get a prescription." Hotch said rubbing her cheek with his thumb. He was smiling and she prayed that it worked out this time and he or she had those same dimples.

Once outside Derek, Reid and Rossi grinned from ear to ear while Garcia, giving them the technical assistance they badly needed, hugged her almost too tightly. "Jeez, PG, don't squeeze it out of me." The tech let go.

"Oh, sorry, my Ebony Haired Fertility Goddess."

Everyone groaned.

THE END

Uhg, I'm not really sure about the ending. Usually I write sex, this is, what the third story on here by me, that doesn't have sex? Yeah, I'm much better at those stories and I am working on one. So tell me if this was too cheesie...I think it is...Hit the Button and Review! Please ;)


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